nearby trees [kith]
abrupt lee
lil’ flower tracer
b’land
sheerpanicbarbie
kn29
sister of a friend’s spouse
wush [tafka bish]
olive
spenglar
shwan
susanity
chinicity
yes, years ago my sis and i ripped a playing card. every time we'd pull the deck out we would scribble down some wonderful slanderous comments. those were the days...
trevorisms
yeah, just try to guess what he was talking about. he has a ton and i'll be adding them
look at the big moron eels!
[re: his star wars xbox game]
i like to use the inferior walkers
my muse - making things beautiful [is that a muse or a direction/purpose? i'll say it is my muse because i can]. if God's love and grace is beautiful, i'll try to hop on there, too. beauty, not in a surfacy attractive way, but maybe in a «right» way, a thing that even though it would seem repulsive is deeply beautiful, like a nurse truly caring about a sick person while cleaning up his vomit. i'd like to make everything a bit more beautiful, to pick out the rocks in the gardens around me, to add a little color. this wouldn't just be making nice laundry lists of info but something that has more, that actually moves people, all gently. that keeps me going, and watching people grow over time. a lot of time, too. none of this 30 day crap. i'm here for the long haul.
my bike is old-old-old. i like to joke that it is one step beyond the technology of wood, which it probably is, but it is a great bike. steel frames offer a great ride and they can take a beating [yeah, take a hard fall on a carbon fiber bike and you may be looking for a new frame. sometimes.] the components [all the stuff that is neither frame or wheels, all the pretty-shineys] are of great quality so they've lasted well. i broke a crank last year [yeah, that was crazy] and wheels have faded, but i've finally worn out parts that are hard to replace. i took the bike in for a tune-up and a new chain and now my chain skips while pedaling. it doesn't skip shifting gears, it skips on the teeth of the cogs, and that means i can't apply much pressure or my legs slip around. ugh. my bike is a 7 speed. all bikes are now 10 speeds, and with my missing gears in the worn out middle, i've got a 4 speed at best. ebay doesn't have any 7 speed sets anymore, so i thought i was screwed. sarah and started discussing options. we've talked about getting me a new bike for the last few years but i'm far too practical. i could get a good bike for 2 to 3,000, but i could also take advil up on his offer on building me a custom frame which would rock, too, but i'd still have to buy all the components. that frame would be steel, which would be really cool, but i wouldn't get a discount on the components like you do when you buy a bike frome a large manufacturer. crap crap and double crap.
i shot over to my local bike shop pima street bicycles [which phil and julie[?] rock, btw. talk about knowing your stuff and being good at it. go there] and guess what, i can order a newly made 7 speed freewheel. the new versions of what i have [in a 10-speed version] are $229, so i was thinking at least a $100 or so. not even. how about $15.99? i was thinking of even getting 2 with different gearings [normal tightly grouped gearing and another with a massive alpine gear that i could pedal up walls with] but i'll wait - i never go into my «alpine» 21 right now unless climbing and it is useless for me and my gut. i'm getting the 28 and we'll see.
now i can save my pennies for a bike instead of seeing what i can find in the couch right now. i did just order sarah an ipod nano, though, for her to keep her on pace while running and other things. i'll not use it riding, mind you - the scariest people out there [other than those that are black and white] are those riding with headphones on and those with aero handlebars. flee!
[hmm, a whole lot of writing, and a whole lot of info. i must work on my writing skills]
to keep from thinking too much, i tossed myself into working on the girls room while they were gone over the july 4th weekend. the wallpaper was removed so i retextured the walls and used 6 different colors of paint. the colors work, like a really ballsy pottery barn image, yet they don't quite fit the house. well, they do in a weird way, but i wasn't shooting for "in a wierd way". it reminds me of my friend matt describing the latest dave matthews release "it is kinda different, sorta weird. you should listen to it - you'll probably like it". great - i'm the clearinghouse for weird. it is very summery with a blue i don't think i've ever used in anything i've ever done before. not as bad as the colors bre wears on desperate housewives [makes me wish for a black and white tv], but a very unique palette.
a friend sent me these steps to becoming a respected spiritual figure a long time ago:
1. Adopt an opinion that's just slightly more conservative than those around you.
2. Assert that opinion quietly but forcefully.
3. If challenged, assert it more forcefully.
4. If challenged further, assert it again.
5. And again.
and as i shared them with someone else, he created 3 more good ones:
6. if challenged yet again...re-establish your view under the mantra of "getting back to the basics" of christianity
7. if still challenged..refer to all opposing opinions as "watered down gospel sprinkled with the sin spice of humanism"
8. if still challenged, find another controversial topic in the church to divert attention away from current arguement.. "our church doesnt teach the bible!!! i just want a church that REALLY teaches the WORD OF GOD!!!"
funny, but sad. do we need to live with such an incredible sense of fear that we fail to see how grand God is, far beyond our own pitiful boundaries that we would prefer to keep him constrained to? i'm all for a wild and wooly God, a sparkly-eyed Jesus and a ballsy Holy Spirit. Jesus' radical way of living continues today.
yes, 9 hours after i ordered the ipod nano it has already been shipped. go apple.
| Sep 9, 2005 | 7:22 PM | Package data transmitted to FedEx |
| 9:34 PM | Picked up | |
| 10:58 PM | Left origin |
dang that was fast. mmm, wafer thin technology. what makes me laugh is that i thought it was coming from a funny town in connecticut, not china.
| Sep 12, 2005 TUCSON, AZ |
7:38 AM | On FedEx vehicle for delivery |
| Sep 11, 2005 PHOENIX, AZ |
11:56 PM | At local FedEx facility |
| MEMPHIS, TN | 4:27 PM | Departed FedEx location |
| MEMPHIS, TN | 1:26 PM | Arrived at FedEx location |
| MEMPHIS, TN | 7:04 AM | Arrived at FedEx location |
| Sep 10, 2005 ANCHORAGE, AK |
7:53 PM | Arrived at FedEx location |
| ANCHORAGE, AK | 7:48 PM | Departed FedEx location |
| Sep 9, 2005 SHENZHEN CN |
10:58 PM | Left origin |
| 9:34 PM | Picked up | |
| 7:22 PM | Package data transmitted to FedEx |
spenglar, our little non-talker, really enjoyed the three amigos with steve martin, chevy chase and the third guy. he has always shot us with his finger and now he has taken to shooting both hands in the air. in san diego over the summer he shot a little girl at seaport village so i came over, pretended to pull his finger/gun off and threw it in the bay. he looked at his open palms with disbelief, like how could i do such a thing. he didn't shoot anyone for a month.
during the middle of the day sarah and i were talking and he brought us a two liter of pepsi. i told him no, we were talking and he needed to wait. after a while he started to take the cap off and tip it over so i took it away. he yelled no at me a few times, pointed his little finger of death at me with all his muscles tensed, and then it happened. he quickly reached to his shorts pocket and fumbled on the outside as if he was doing something, then put his hand out with finger extended and shot me. as i attempted to tell him no, sarah burst out laughing and that was it - i was laughing while telling him no, and now he knows he is funny. great.
on my morning ride to work today, i was a bit smarter than usual and brought the brush from our dustpan. there are a few sections on my route that take me through small fields of shattered beer bottles and i was done with the fear of flatting. i spent 4 or 5 minutes sweeping the glass off to one side. it was the worst section. it made me a little late [i was already late as it was as the kids bus was late and i was out there with the dog] so i just skittered around a few other places that had glass strewn about.
i feel like i've done a small bit of a good thing, not just saying «whoa, look at all that trash. someone should do something about it.» in a small way, i did.
i got to teach the same church-mandated lesson in two sunday school classes today, which was a lot of fun. they are really called ABFs for Adult Bible Fellowship as i think older people are acronym-centric [though Adult Sunday School would have been more exciting - yeah, you do the acronym]. i'm not much one for fill in the blank things as i don't fully pay attention to what the speaker is really saying as i'm so focused on the right answer, as well as it being rather juvenile. there are so many better ways to teach. i really wanted to do a good job so God got me up at 4am last monday and started feeding me lines. it is enjoyable to have his Spirit throwing down words and i mostly just have to take dictation - after 15 minutes of him pushing my thoughts i had to get up and type them all out. after that, i was done, i looked over them twice as well as tried it out as a 15 minute blurb. i think today went over quite well: i was excited about the topic, passionate about getting the message across and stuck in people's minds for the rest of their lives, as well as funny and honest [without playing up the "i'm going to share something from deep within my heart" card - i can say it without all that]. i made stickers for everyone to put on their worksheet and share with each other, and i seriously do believe it went well. i totally raised the bar on what i could do [and probably everyone else, too]. no bullet points [don't get me started], no fill in the blank, no passing on of information - it was a picture of how things are with us and how the should be, and it got translated from what God put in my head into a picture i could paint with words for everyone.
BUT
i am exhausted and this morning i fell asleep with spencer watching tv when i should have been getting dressed. sarah woke me up with a start and i groggily shuffled out to the backyard to help dispose of a decaying cardboard box. a HUGE box. we had it in the alley and i couldn't think of where my cutters were so i grabbed a shovel and started slicing the corners. after several well placed whacks it slid off to the sid and right on top of my big toe on the more distant foot. i looked at it, hit the box with the shovel, looked at it again and then threw the shovel back in to the yard while giving it a very choice new name. it is probably stitches material as it is a one inch gash to the bone, really my foot bone. if i had hit 1/4" further forward i believe i would have split the gap between the bones and my toe would be dangling. as it is, i bled completely through all the bandages on my ride to work and the bone is just throbbing. once again i am reminded that i should never do physical labor when tired. someday i'll accidentally lop off my head.
so much of what our church is being about is the idea that there are two gutters to living the xian life, correct behavior and correct doctrine/belief. living on either side usually means you get focused on keeping the outside of the cup clean and the inside is crap, or you obey and hold the law over everyone's heads and you become a pharisee.
i've never liked the idea that our church targets certain audiences, marketing to different groups. i just wonder as they try to be young and hip [which they aren't really] that they come across having the right beliefs [just read any emergent book and you'll learn the phrases] and the right behaviour/actions [go visit an emergent church[ but the are missing the core of it, actually BEING in the right relationship with the people, as well as it being a true expression of themselves. it turns out just to be louder. what will it take to get the church to go beyond beliefs and behaviour? i have not a clue other getting people in there that can actually do it, be more than just knowledgable of what others are doing and thinking.
the gist of sunday's talk was that we most likely have a pretty crappy view of God for all kinds of reasons, quite often stemming from how we saw/were treated by our parents, religion, etc. a few would be a judgemental God, a distant God, angry God, etc etc.
i'm thinking that i used to see God as being two faced, like he was one way with me and another way with other people. God likes to wake me up in the middle of the night and we go out and find tall train bridges to jump off of into a dark river, we go exploring in caves and check out snow topped mountains. the next day i'll talk to people and they've never left town, often saying i'm a heretic and that i'm way out of bounds. i used to think i'd look to God and he wouldn't speak up and say «yes, we really did do that». the funny part with this heresy/condemnation was that i was with God the whole time - he was taking me all these places. you can't get much more right than that. i'm not outside the box, i'm with God.
now i don't feel like God is that way, just that i'm lucky that he likes to show me the extreme reaches of his kingdom [though i'm still thinking he is only showing me a teeny bit. for those that harp on me, i feel bad that they are living in a pretty colored kincaide village - it seems so small and so reduced. there is so much more out there. i'll stick with God, thank you.
i've rethought tuesday how i think i used to see God a bit more, and i'm thinking it is a pretty close. years ago with the gathering i took on the role of scout, not because i chose it but because that was how things worked out. part of was that i seemed to run ahead of everyone and point out possible routes and different items. it didn't mean we went there or looked at them, just that i was helping scout things out.
i see it more where God has grabbed my hand and taken me out of the little village in the valley of Evangelical Protestantism. he has run me around in the fields, we've looked at bugs, hiked in the mountains and played in the streams, climbed rock walls, as well as covering a lot of ground. it is still just a small glimpse of what he has going on and i've met people from all kinds of other villages that have given me a brush with other ways of interacting with God. God's realm is huge. i still know the little town of EvangPro, but i've also been taken to some of the streets nobody goes to as well as the parts where it isn't as successful. it seems that most of the people like to go to the town square and watch the show and talk about how great a metropolis this tiny place is. it isn't, it isn't even supposed to be the place where we set up shop. i used to get tired of those that called me a heretic or that i was living on the edge or «outside the box». the sad part is that they are declining traveling with God for the safety of a small bazaar, sticking with buildings and other man-made things. i do see a certain part of it where it makes sense at the beginning, for the young, but you can hike at a very early age, too. there is so much to explore with God, and it isn't heresy, it just isn't in that little village. i look forward to plenty more tromps in the woods with God - there is so much to be shown and experience. but as for why God seemed to act like he and i didn't do stuff together? i think he was trying to get me to shut it as what we had done and seen pops the cork out of the general populace - it doesn't make sense. i understand, i was there too. i still am, i think, in many ways.
my new role? i think it is helping take people on field trips outside the village walls, simple things to help with understanding that there is more to life than just the village. i've noticed lately that i've been on longer trips with friends, harder trips that push all of us. i think i've been fortunate to meet some great people along the way that continue to help undo a lot of my incorrect perceptions of the world and God. it does NOT have to be this way just because that is what i am used to. i'm more than a scout, i'm a tour guide. i've moved from running on my own for the most part to starting to get a grasp on how to help get people see and get excited about all that is out there. i've also gotten better at recognizing city slickers, too. i know i'm only an okay guide, too - i've met plenty of people that help remind me that i'm still a wee tad. not in a bad way, but in a way that lets me know i've only seen one half on one percent of what there is, if that much.
i really should write this out better, no?
before i forget this little trivia, spenglar can't start words with an R sound [among a lot of others] so when he is a lion, he says "LAR!"
very cute, and very funny.
a few nights ago our neighbors alerted sarah that the guys 3 houses down and across the street were assembling guns in their front yard, tucking some in their pants. i'm sure it is legal, but it sure wasn't too bright. all i can think is that they had some «i've got a large pistol» bravado, if you know what i mean.
some background on this house: it was the last empty lot on our street and these guys [all electrical/cable? contractors i think] built it. there was a slight problem with their plan, though, as the hook up for the fridge isn't in the kitchen - it is in the living room. there were a few other quirks about the house which i believe led to their inability to find a buyer. so they all moved in. one guy has a hummer, they've shot a keg in their front yard with a shot gun before, and we've also learned that someone drove by their place in early summer and shot at them.
back to the guys with guns story: the cops are called but nothing happens for over an hour until we see flashing lights out front. wandering out there are 3 cars along the side of the road and one more at an angle blocking the street. our other neighbor said he drove home and found 8 cop cars around the corner and then a line of cops hunched in his yard looking over the 2 foot fence [with a house buffer]. i would have loved to known how they confronted the guys. «hey, we are collecting for the policeman's ball. hey... you guys sure have a lot of cool guns!»
i'll probably never know, but there was a guy in the back of a squad car [i'll assume it was for the lack of a gun permit]. there may have been more, i don't know. what i do know is that it wasn't the brightest thing to do. play guns inside if you really like playng guns.
a few of us were chatting about spiritual stuff and someone pointed out the wording that we have been «declared» righteous, not «made» righteous [i could be wrong on that]. it makes it very cool as that it means we are now treated/allowed in as if we were righteous, but that there is still a lot of work to be done, to get up to our namesake. that doesn't mean just knowing more or acting nice, it is a lot more than that as well as a lot less. like my coworker said, i don't want a robot heart.
what a week - monday starts off dead and then «wham!» full force the rest of the week. a few highlights:
riding to work
i filled up my car with gas late friday night, except with my gas guage being wacky, i still had 2 gallons in it. i believe i last filled up my car was the first week of september [i think]. we'll see if i can go with just a tank a week. i'm sure the drop in the economy will be blamed on me.
spencer's speech
spencer isn't doing so hot, and the teachers are getting concerned. he has stopped using words for the most part [he gets around fine without them] so we've stepped up getting him to speak. he needs to form at least a basic sound [even the first sound of the word] for whatever he wants. too bad he is so smart and so cute. i just picked up some figurines for his favorite show [jojo] so maybe we can work on their names, too.
swimmin'
yes, i swam thursday night and it was rather cool, mostly because the air temp isn't as high. cool pools feel great when it is 105°F. maybe i'm just getting used to the heat, but 94°F feels pretty good, maybe even time for a sweater. hah.
choich
the three oldest headed off to their first night of pioneer girls [and whatever trevor is in] and they had a blast. trevs statement to sarah afterwards was, «why haven't you brought me to a place like this before?»
yes, we'll be going back for sure.
vehicles
we are finally going to purchase a van [used, of course] and i really hate vehicles. i wish the government would pass the Reliable Vehicle Act or something. our friend travless has found as a good one but it has a lot of miles, but it is a toyota. that should last a long time. if we need to put 2k in it 4 or 5 years down the road, that is still a great deal. i wonder how many people keep their vehicles for more than 5 years? that also means i'll probably get a new bike, and that is a stressor for me. what kinda and what quality? steel so it lasts 10+ years, or something else composite that may last just a few [less if i wreck]. my old bike is dying, though, as i think most parts have close to 12,000 miles on them. that is pretty old in bike years.
october
today is the first day of the tucson bicycle classic, the 3 stage race that was my carrot this year. i've got no chance of competing. let's see if i can keep up the training [okay, at least riding] through next year, drop 20 pounds, and race the whole year. that would be nice.