february, the month of love and carrying water [and my birthday! woohoo]
feb 5.1
i believe my blog will mostly be about intimacy as that is what seems to be rattling around in my head this month. sarah and i have been talking to the tuesday group about sex and intimacy and what kind of sex life you have [for the married, not for them yet. or maybe for them, not with anyone else. it is taking longer to get to this closing bracket and there it is]. it isn’t so much the sex part as it is the intimacy part. to have a good/healthy/intimate relationship — that takes a lot of work, so most people stick with the physical and that starts to feel about as exciting as a styrofoam cup filled with vodka — good for just a moment. to allow intimacy to progress equally along physical/emotional/spiritual lines — that is tough. for guys, sticking with the physical seems to be just fine as that is what most of us are capable of. i sure was. i probably still am pretty close to that, but getting healthier. sex is not just a physically enabled event — the more you are tied together in emotions and direction and how you live together, the better it is. it becomes something far more enjoyable.
i really want to call it relational intimacy, but i’m not sure how to define it. parts of it is learning how to express your love in a healthy way while also receiving love in the way your spouse expresses it, and that isn’t easy. when i get sick, sarah is always around me trying to help out. when she is sick, i let her be. we just expressed care and compassion the way we want it, not the way the other wants it. it is so hard, but this is the work that must be done in marriage. marriage doesn’t fix relationships or smooth them out, it is something in constant need of work. if you aren’t working on it, it is getting worse.
it has been fun working on it, more out of seeing relational health out of it. i was perturbed once in the middle of getting it on when sarah asked «i wonder how so and so is doing?»
i’m glad i moved you so deeply. the funny thing is, now i’m bringing up things at awkward moments but it seems fine — it isn’t just a physical intimacy, it is a whole person intimacy. two whole persons, too. i think i may finally understand what cheap, meaningless sex is — and how that phrase has taken over the standard definition of sex.
good stuff, and plenty more to come.
feb 8.1
my dad in the ukraine:
I think I mentioned that I was asked to give a presentation to the English Dept. at Ivan Franko Univ. at their spring meeting yesterday. I understood that it was for the faculty and involved 15 to 20 teachers. A) It was almost 40. B) My presentation, a hands on, energetic, informal, and somewhat humorous workshop came first. C) The next 4 presenters were academics, two from Kiev, presenting scholarly papers on the various difficulties of translation studies especially with respect to Ukrainian poetry. Imagine Al Jolson doing the opening number at an opera performance!!!
feb 9.1
i don’t believe i will make a birthday wish this year. they have yet to come true and it isn’t even hope or wishful thinking. it seems to be more annoying than anything else.
feb 9.2
we are at an impasse, sarah and i. we are both done done done and have nothing to give, and neither of us has the gumption to give what the other person needs, even just a little as the flame that would ignite the larger rocket. it doesn’t help that we are both busy and stressed out and not communicating well with each other, as well as not fully understanding each other’s needs even though i think we both grasp those things somewhat intellectually. sorta. we grasp it in the way we understand it. case in point, i need to feel desired and wanted, but what that really means is more like being consumed. sarah has been in a funk for close to two weeks and the desire may be there, but it comes across as «do what you need, i’ll read a magazine», aka not rocking her world but maybe just nudging it a hair. as one book said, «guys would sooner go work in the yard than be involved with that kind of sex.» what to do, what to do, especially when sarah knows it is not great but i think she believes what we have been doing is useful. at some point it needs to be more hunter and less gatherer, more «i’m going after you like a lion chasing down its prey» vs «oh look, that one there looks good. or maybe that one. hmmm, i don’t know...» enough of the candy bars — i don’t want any of that. i don’t think i CAN take any more of that. i need something substantial. candy bars are a good filler between steak dinners, but too many make me feel sick and trembly [and not in a good way].
but it isn’t her fault — i’m sure it is mine. i’m the one that needs to make sarah feel desired and taken care of. knowing it doesn’t help — it has to be felt, and i’m not doing a good job of that. so now not only do i feel a little less prepared to function each day, but i’ve got this looming reminder everytime she and i talk that i am sucking ass on caring for her properly. if we had fallen down the same hole, at least one of us could stand on the other and get out. i think we may be in different holes. i need to get over to hers and help her out and our busy schedule does not work that way. i’m stuck between a hard place and a hard place and i don’t have much of a ladder, and now my head is going the depressed route and playing tricks on me which isn’t a good thing.
sarah IS wonderful, just in case you were wondering. she is a fantastic mother as how our kids have turned out would have to be some sort of test. they are great, and in comparison to others [which isn’t really right’ they are fantastic. she has the ability to care for all of us as well as keep the house up and everyone wants to talk with sarah. she is the one. i don’t really find myself worthy of her as i am still such a louse in so many ways. yes, i have changed a lot, but it is times like these that i realize i am not doing such a great job in both telling her and showing her my love for her. i probably think i am but i don’t think the intent comes through and is more guy language.
feb 9.3
initiating sex. i don’t believe it is the same for everyone, the how to go about it. it also probably changes on where both parties are at and what they are feeling. there are the nice notes/hints throughout the day, and then there is getting stuff out in the open NOW because i want you badly [and i’ll let you know how badly]. i think i’m preferring the latter end, and i would think that how i pursue sarah is probably the same way i want to be pursued [and vice versa]. i’ll have to ask. marriage is hard work, but worth it.
feb 9.4
jehn is retarded. she im’d that she wanted an iTon, as if apple has created its own set of weights and measures.
feb 10.1
it was the day of my party and while i worked on the yard and the lights, sarah was cooking like a big-time restaurant chef, getting several trays of lasagna made as well as plenty of noodle dishes and such. it all went pretty well other than getting tired by the time people began to arrive. it was an italian theme so we had fresh citrus all around the 9 or 10 tables that were set up, plus flowers and sunflowers. i had gone through with close to 20 strands of lights and spun a huge web above our heads. i cross crossed and tied them off [and blew a fuse on the first strand — i think a dozen strands was the limit] and then came back through and used more to lift the strands or laid them over so that other strands held them up. it was pretty cool, though all white lights would have been the best.
a lot of people brought more food, and man there was a lot of people. i counted 19 cars outside which i believe is a new record, and 35+ adults and 20+ kids running around. it was pretty loud and crazy, and my introvert side was getting a little shaky. it was a lot of fun having everyone over, though sarah and i got kinda lost in the middle of it all. i was very much surprised to get a paintball marker [yeah, it isn’t called a gun] and that will be trouble as that opens up the evil $$$ land of upgrades. a new barrel? force feeding? all kinds of trigger junk? oh man, i need another birthday. another pair of couples went to a dollar store and got me 38 gifts, all wrapped in tissue paper with descriptions on them [eg, keep your doggs happy, bling for your bike, etc]. all kinds of fun stuff, and now i know why i was being pushed by them to open the presents — it took a good 20+ minutes to open just theirs. another fun one was money and the note was from a tiny notebook below:
yup, that is beth, sarah’s good friend since the 1st grade. she can ramble while writing. people spent time looking for the right «dann» card and this was a good one:
i sorta wandered from table to table [though people were usually already into a conversation] and it all went very well. a few friends help clean up the backyard and then we discovered that the lights i hung accounted for a third of our electrical usage. oh, and we counted 15 adults that didn’t show up. we couldn’t have handled that many more, so it was perfect.
hooray for paintball!
feb 11.1
my official birthdate and i led a so-so discussion on breathing at church and then went to sarah’s parents for a great dinner of enchiladas, beans and salsa. i ate so much [and was so tired from setting up on saturday] that i fell asleep for an hour while sarah went out with her uncle dirk into the wash to pan for sand rubies. uncle dirk is a miner for life, and he had brought out a small gold pan on this trip to tucson for the gem and mineral show. they worked for an hour as i slept and got a lot of tiny little garnets [technically not called sand rubies] and gave sarah the pan. he told us how he had purches 6 barrels of soil from an alaskan firm and with his huge sluice [sp?] at home he pulled out over $30,000 in gold. oops for the alaskan firm. they asked if he wanted more and he tested the soil and no, it wasn’t worth the price. we cleaned my office and then i researched digital cameras and external hard drives for about 2 hours [and purchased them, but spencer better not touch them]. with that used emac we just got [with firewire!] we can import video easier and now the kids can try their hands at making movies. after that i worked on taxes, which is always fun. we paid about $400 in federal taxes during the year [i think i listed myself as having 30 dependents] and we get $1,848 back. isn’t that crazy? we get paid over $1400 to live here [and yes, we can use it]. granted, part of the return goes to state because we never pay enough there, so in the end we make about $600. the $1,200 check will be nice as i think we still spend $300-$500 a month more than we make and there isn’t much more for us to cut back on. we don’t have cable, etc.
feb 12.1
spencer likes to type in random text at google, and he gets some pretty funny results. one day we came in to see him scrolling through the faculty of some college at stanford. one day he will find a lot of naked people. he will, trust me, he will. . he came over to me and said «type hotwheels — i not good typer». hopefully he doesn’t have to sit out another year before school to get better socialized. if he does, he’ll be just as much trouble as he’ll be freaking smart when he finally gets to school.
feb 12.2
i found old things on my computer that might fit this month of love and such:
i’m sure the xian author loves this. i think it is cindy crawford’s heiny.
the onion is chock full of funny and insightful stuff [and sometimes wrong]. the first day i was lucid after my wisdom teeth tried to kill me i read a whole book from the onion. good memories of bad times, and i’m sure my mental state added to the trip. click to read the full pdf.
and with that, here is a new spanish phrase: «tienes una hermosa boca»
12.3
poor rex. something happened to him at the party and i do not believe it was from drinking the cranberry wine mixed with lemon and sprite. he threw up sunday morning [i cleaned it up] but the kids pointed out later that he took a huge dump on the carpet [sarah cleaned that up]. as we were off at church and dinner, our neighbors were trying to contact us as rex began to puff up. when we got home he looked a bit more like a sharpei, but clay said he started swelling at random. a lump here, a lump there. very goofy. now he is living on benadryl and sneezes a lot. maybe he has allergies, i don’t know.
feb 14.1
last night i forced everyone outside so they could enjoy the lights i put up [it is all about me] and we had a nice fire going with 15 people. we continued to talk about sex and intimacy while trying to keep the conversation of masturbation from «getting out of hand»... du-dum tish! it was very open and honest, including the women doing the hanging their heads in shame as they mentioned masturbation or even wondering about desiring their husband once they got married. it became funnier as they would watch each other hang their head. shame! only men are supposed to talk about desires and passion. that is why martha stewart is who she is. it does the spirit good to know that we’ve got a houseful of people that can discuss what they really think as well as working on what that is.
i was also given some birthday goodies [aero bars - woohoo!] and the card below came with a shirt.
feb 15.1
happy meal toys have more memory than my first computer at work [2 megs of ram and a huge 20 meg harddrive — megs, not gigs]. i just thought i might point that out.
feb 16.1
i can’t believe disney has made a movie from the book «bridge to terabithia». i was afraid they were going to skimp on the ending but the reviews say it hasn’t. that is a relief. i just reread the last few chapters and cried my way through it [as i just did with grey’s last night when alex posted the photos from the morgue]. it seems as if disney is capitalizing on «kids lotr» with narnia and now terabithia. i’m not so sure i want to see it. we’ll need to be sure allie has had as much rest as possible.
feb 16.2
tonight sarah and i are going out on gift certificate night, first to chili’s and then to the mall. this night has been very much needed. hooray for not having the kids and we get to be adult. speaking of adult, i finally got around to the image below.
but you should note that nobody gets babies from hummers [wink wink]. okay, enough of that. i’m leaving so that i can go hang out with my wife!
feb 16.3
a left over IM with jehn:
11:07:47 AM jehn: hee hee all i have left is to paint my balls to look like steel
11:18:35 AM me: aw, you are becoming such a guy
11:33:27 AM jehn ha. working in the shop ... cutting wood. painting my balls
it was about some furniture she was designing for class.
feb 19.1
sarah and i were sitting outside with my sis and don on saturday night and all the kids were playing inside. spencer comes out and says «i need medicine. i need medicing for my tummy» which seemed harmless enough. when we asked him why he needed medicine, he replied «i swawow a wite bulb».
great.
we hemmed and hawed about what to do and after calling the nurse on call sarah ran him in. we kept thinking of the little metal wires that stick out of the replacement bulbs and even the pointy-ish ends. spencer doesn’t lie, so he did it, and he even said it was the ones with the red tip that change the lights from steady to blinking. sarah took him in and i was going to put the kids down and run him in later. supposedly everyone who came in had a smirk on their face and when asked «how did it tase?» he would reply «like nothing». they sent him home, of all things, as people swallow crazy things all the time and they pass them [like razor blades]. go figure. we aren’t even supposed to check his poop out. silly little firefly butt.
feb 19.2
i have purchased my first upgrade to my paintball gun. it will be very useful. it is a small cover that keeps all kinds of dirt and grime from getting into the special moving parts while i am rolling in the dirt and falling down hills. it covers the trigger/cocking part and is aptly named «rocket cock II».it is not difficult to tell that the description was written by guys:
the Rocket Cock II looks sweet, works great, quiets you gun and keeps dirt and crud from taking you out of the action. Screw this little sucker on and start playing more and cleaning less. Lock and load, gentlemen!
there is no way you could think they were thinking of anything else when they wrote it.
feb 20.1
today is little spenglar’s birthday, and there are many reasons to celebrate. he really only started talking last march and he has come a long way in that time. hopefully he’ll be ready for school. socially, not intellectually. that boy is smart. while our other 3 complain about having a hard time getting a drink, he routinely makes himself meals, the most popular is his chicken sandwich with mayo. he has also stopped needing a diaper at night [probably more our fault that it took so long to take place]. it makes trips so much easier. he is also one cute little guy even though he can often be a pain. sarah said he told on trevor in the last few weeks. normally he would just pound him. hooray for socialization. he is also getting stronger so he can walk further, but i think his core is still a little weak so he wants to be carried. he is our youngest — we can dote on him some. we’ll be heading out to «wegowand» in a few days as that is where he decided he wanted to go back in october or so. that should be fun, though the weather looks to be very poor and it’ll be cold for us thin blooded folk. we’ll follow it up with a day at seaworld [still raining but clearing] and then saturday we’ll take the train [the coaster] up the coast. southern california is so amazingly hilly that it was easier to put the train along the beach. it makes for beautiful scenery. we need this vacation just as much as spencer needs it.
feb 20.2
in a passing conversation i remembered that i used to post my mixes i played during «the gathering» years. one evening as sarah and i were watching tv i noticed that they were playing a lot of songs i’ve used. i counted them — 14 songs from one of my more recent mixes. go figure. i don’t believe it was a coincidence.
feb 20.3
people as cars. i think that might be fun, not so much drawing them but the descriptions. maybe i’ll have to make a flash game where you can mix and match the people i know to their description if they were a car. if you don’t know any of them, maybe i can just post nekkid people. here was one from several months back:
still runs well, needs a few major parts replaced, minimal body damage, plenty of good miles left, unsure of accurate odometer reading, recent damage to right rear fender. dome light seems to be a bit dim lately
feb 21.1
we get to leave soon! yea yea yea, though i’m not fond of driving late tonight. it looks as if the storm has moved more into friday so tomorrow should be good for legoland. may i mention that i am also mighty impressed with the tour of california? not only do we have the european pros over here racing an 8 stage race but there is an attempt at some of the best online coverage to date [correct me if i am wrong]. csc, adobe, flickr, t-mobile, google[?], yahoo and others are all pitching in with their tech savvy to provide some crazy coverage. 5 riders plus two more as well as the broom wagon, central vehicle and the race director's car [he stays with the leaders/breakaway] have gps hookups that gets beamed to what i would assume to be a flash player with all kinds of maps and info. it has been really herky-jerky and not reliable, but a refresh often brings up a different server. it looks like all the partners are streaming the info to share the load [akamai is in there too]. phenomenal, but it doesn't quite work. yesterday we had the little jersey's of the marked riders sliding along a satellite map [which is zoomable] and byrolling over them i could see who they were and their time down from the leaders [i think]. below was a flick-r bar that had current race photos, and below that a elevation/distance map with the riders plodding along like the bicycle race from the triplets of belleville. a red bar denoted the gap between the leaders and the breakaway and below that the current speed, grade, average speed, time, etc of the peleton and below that the same info with the breakaway with their time gap. the three big tours would be lucky to pull the same thing off. to top it off, clicking on the video button brought full screen video [flash, and very choppy flash at that] from both helicopters and motorcycles. it was beautiful. i’m sure the tech guys aren’t sleeping at all while trying to get out all the kinks. to go see this tour would be freaking awesome — the course chosen is fabulous [the shots of the riders going through vineyards in napa valley yesterday was primo]. i’m sure the tour of georgia is pretty too, but this race, i think it may trump the views. stage 6 would be great, and the finish in the capit0l was wonderful. the organizers are doing it right with circuits on some of the finishes to give the crowds a lot more to watch. click on the images below for larger images.
we also had good coverage of tucson’s 24 hour race. good photos along with a the results. oh, and these kind of photos too.
feb 26.1
what a trip. it didn’t rain on us during the day and i think the forecast of a crazy storm kept everyone away from seaworld. they even closed one of the shamu shows, and since we have all played zoo tycoon seaworld edition, we know that having less shows keeps the animals happy. i think that may be what they planned. but we didn’t bother to go see him/her as this was our 3rd visit in 6 months. we just wandered and played, sat a bunch. the park was so empty at times that we wouldn’t see anyone on the walkways. we parked in front of the entrance [just behind the first row of handicapped spots] and were close to the dog and cat show when they played the national anthem and opened the park.
we sat up front for the shows and saw some amish men that looked closer to rock stars wearing what could be described as dressed up mechanics clothes. the women not so happy, more like it was 1800s dress up day and only they dressed up.
shipwreck rapids? okay, i always say «shipwep wapids» — there was no wait as it was a little chilly to get soaked. instead of the two hour+ wait we had over the summer we were able to walk on — there was nobody ahead of us.
legoland was the day before and we had a grand time there [especially because we got all 6 of us in for $188]. it was chilly and sprinkled on us. spencer rode all three coasters and he looks like he was tucked underneath me like the big headed chick that foghorn leghorn would babysit.
sometimes he would have the biggest smile, and other times he would try to hide it. the kids all knew it was his day so he got to choose where to go. at the very end we still hadn't gone to the play area so i took the other 3 on rides while sarah took him there. he loved it. almost. as we walked out and he was upset to leave he gave his huge «i'm exasperated!» sound and told this to nobody in particular: «urgh! didn’t celebrate birthday in wegowand! no cake! urgh!»
ooops — we didn’t know that was what he wanted.
on saturday we took the train up the coast a bit and spencer seemed the most interested, and then on sunday we went to play at what i call the dr. seuss park. as we drove home, all the kids fell asleep at 2pm. later on we turned back to look at the kids and spencer was there with his shirt off, an index finger on each nipple. happy birthday little monkey nut. i had to red bull it on the way home. plenty of fun memories.
more photos can be found here.
feb 26.2
interesting conversations today, both worth thinking more about. one friend had an old friend ask her to pray about dating her. one, that seems to be a rather poor pick up line, and two, if god was really backing these feelings, don’t you think that god would have talked to her too? that phrase is horrible. my guess it is a form of manipulation. «we were sitting around thinking who might be good to work with the middle schoolers and your name came up so we chose you and now we need you to talk to god about it even though we really want you to do it.» i’m sure it can work that way, but not all the time. it is also like spouse shopping — i feel like we should be more and i picked you off the grocery shelf and now i’ll see if i can get you to agree by making it sound more spiritual and throwing some leverage on you. more of the bad part is that it could make the originator think it was from god and if the ask-ed declines, what happened with god’s great idea? people need to learn how to be friends and not wonk out friendships because of aloneness issues. reminds me of a joke i once heard:
there is a man who has three potential girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. he heads to his pastor and he akss what he should do. the pastor suggests he gives each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.
the first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. she gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, «i spent the money so I could look pretty for you because i love you so much.» not bad.
the second one went out and bought new golf clubs, an ipod, a plasma screen television on a great, and a gaming station and gives them to the man. she says, «i bought these gifts for you with the money because i love you so much.» oooh, pretty good too.
the third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. she says, "Ii am investing the rest of the money for our future because i love you so much.» wowzers.
he returns to his pastor more confused than before, each well worth proposing to and he wonders who god wants him to marry. the pastor leans forward and says «there are all good — just marry the one witht he biggest boobs.»
that reminds me of an old sergio aragones cartoon [the margin comic from mad magazine] where there was a lady passing the end of an aisle at a grocery store with a startled look. there were several huge boxes of cake mix 3 or 4 deep, each box being 4 to 5 feet tall. there was a 6 inch wide rubber band holding a lady onto the side of the box in a leotard. they each stood there somewhat bored. «if i pick you, you must pick me» isn’t true, but we want it to be that way. all these feelings we have — why do we not believe that the other has those same amount of feelings, but possibly NOT for me? i believe karl said it best when he said «women only appreciate persistence if they're interested in the first place.» if there is an interest there, then yes, pursue pursue pursue. but if not, you are a stalker and will kill what relationship you had. i grew up quite the opposite — i had a ton of friends that were women and i never even considered dating any of them. i was a bit clueless, but that wasn’t my driving force for talking to women [unlike a lot of other guys i knew — horn dogs]. being single for many seems as awkward as adolescence, and all those things that can make you ugly in singleness could be quieted if there was more security/friendships there [my opinion, i don’t really know]. i am glad to be married — it is like having a home — security and safeness [yes, there is a lot more too it, but this is only a blog. c’mon, look at the pdfs and images i posted near the top]. otherwise i’d still be on the streets and doing whatever i could do to get a meal and some shelter — my whole life would be taken up with those efforts. that may be the greatest reason for a committed relationship — meeting your aloneness needs in a healthy way.
feb 26.3
other conversation, a continution of my anti-book/anti-conference/anti-speaker rant. i’m not even sure if i blogged this so you’ll hear it again if i have. i can’t do books right now, or at least not a lot of them. it is too easy to turn them into book porn, appeasing part of myself by tricking me into thinking i’ve done/am doing more about something just because i’ve read a book/heard someone speak on something. i can’t do the conversations about movies or books or lectures [sermons]. they are doing it, not me. case in point: i love drawing books. i love «the art of ____ books». i love great illustration books and kids books and graphic novels. it makes me feel like i am doing art and/or part of the art world. i’m not, i’m just living it through someone else. i need to stop playing around it and draw. just draw. draw and doodle and sketch. i need to let my drawing skills get honed and grow.
maybe it is still part of the sticky note idea where it is easier to get covered with other people’s ideas on the outside and not have to take the time to work them over and out and ingest them to become transformed. that takes a lot of work. it is easier to comment on a movie you saw and get a response from someone else who saw the same movie than it is to talk about something of more worth, such as where god is taking you right now. that requires thought.
feb 26.4
seeing how this is the month of love [and inappropriateness] i have added some shots from legoland. i’m sure it was all innocent, but new orleans seemed a bit racy to me. i should have a caption naming contest. these were within 3 or 4 feet of each other and i didn’t have to look real hard to find them [the kids pointed out this first one]. i thought women like her only came out at night. must be the new line they are coming out of LEGHOES. i’m surprised the legos stayed together as they seemed to be a bit more lose than the other set. jehn just wrote «lego my hair mister — you didn’t give me my five dollars». i’m sure there will be more — i just sent clay the photos.
i think the pimp is looking the other way while one of his girls talks to a john.
this could be innocent, but after the previous people were found, i’m not so sure. wouldn’t he be more stereotypical if he had a huge hat on and a cane?
i’ll keep adding the bits and pieces i get sent from friends. remember, they will all be quite baudy, so if you shy away from lego sex, skip down to the next entry.
Ill let you lego my eggo... for 2 bucks
lego ho
leghoes...
haha get it
legos - leghoes
"where my leghoes at?" haha ha. i KILL my self
here is my lego rap:: "circle circle. dot dot. i got my cootie shot. you show me yours ill show you mine... please dont tell me your a cop "
grand theft auto, leghoe city addition
"lego my hair mister... you didnt give me my five dollar"
"i can connect in ALL kinds of ways, honey"
instead of "are you looking to party?" it would be "are you looking to make your lego building taller?"
and now back to the young and the legoless : [legopimp] hey umm miss, im uhh new to bricktown, do you think you should umm show me around your block... i mean.. the block. [leghoe] sure mister ill show you around my block. im from the new city town set too, i can connect all kinds of ways.. [legopimp]: lego of me leghoe.... your bricks are more loose than a vintage lego set....
blue legos
legos are safe and clean unless swallowed
circle circle dot dot, i like your bricks alot
"you've been playing with legos since you were a little kid, how about playing with someone elses set for once?"
we didn't have leghoes like that when i was a kid!
hung like a duplo
from wikipedia: The classic red 2x4 Lego brick. Note the protruding interlocking "stud" mechanism atop the brick.
and: bricks, beams, axles, mini figures, and all other elements in the Lego system are manufactured to an exacting degree of tolerance. When snapped together, pieces must have just the right amount of "clutch power"; they must stay together until pulled apart. They cannot be too easy to pull apart, or the resulting constructions would be unstable; they also cannot be too difficult to pull apart, since the disassembly of one creation in order to build another is part of the Lego appeal.
The word "Lego" comes from Danish leg godt which translates to "play well"
stud mechanism, clutch power, play well — oh my. i guess that would lead to all kinds of jokes.
Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene makes me hard — [which is funny because that is what makes up the hard plastic]
feb 27.1
we are pretty creative at work. we changed the password on our server to include some punctuation. if someone tortures either of the two of us that knows the password, we can yell it out and they’ll never discover the punctuation. we can even tell them the case sensitive parts and they won’t get it. who would have thought our server would have allowed punctuation.
feb 27.2
i was looking up pickup lines while cleaning up the space on another site i have going for work and some of these are nuts. before i get to that, talklikeapirate.com has some goofy pirate lines that i was unable to convert to LEGHO lines:
Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down!
1. Prepare to be boarded.
Bonus pickup lines
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.
You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?
Wanna shiver me timbers?
I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.
Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates
10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"
6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"
4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!
3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
2. RAMMING SPEED!
1. You. Pants Off. Now!
and then some bad ones that were both found and told to me:
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
I'm just looking for a friend with benefits.
Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "screw it"
Hey, do you like dancing? Go over there and dance so I can talk to your friend.
This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
Come on, you can't get pregnant again.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.
the funky part about all this is that i never ever did the bar/dancing scene so the thought of using any of these just sounds bizarre to me.
28.1
i believe my dream from last night was helped along with having a cold coming on. sarah, spencer and i were in a large sandy basin where they were leaching out copper or some such mineral. the sand was closer to white and some big cracks in the ground but it was covered with large sand spheres close to 2 feet across. as we walked through them a tiny scorpion scurried across the ground and i picked up spencer so he wouldn’t get stung/go after it. as we looked around for where it went, a huge one crawled out and climbed onto my ankle. i tried to stick my foot deep in the sand to push it off but it hung on too well. i chose to wake myself up and i had one foot on the foot that had the scorpion. it was my own weight i was trying to shake off.
28.2
effort. why have i not used that word more? we need more effort, possibly more than we need talent or skill. effort brings motion and can build the other two.
28.3
happy birthday todd, wherever you be!